It is 5:45am and I am ready to kill everyone associated with my computer and my connection. I just spent about an hour writing my latest blog entry, only to get booted offline while proofreading it, thereby losing the entire text. I now understand the mindset of a tower sniper.

I suppose I shall try to rewrite it, although I am crushed by this technological abortion. It is gone, maybe forever, all because technology sucks!

Anyway, when I started, I was listening to the 70's metal/glam band Angel, and Melissa Etherdige.

So here is what I had been thinking about:

Jesus  replied: "Love the Lord you God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandant. And the second is like it: "Love your neighboor as yourself." All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.

It seems to me that the Lord is saying here that the greatest thing that we can do, is to Love. Love our God and to love each other. He is also saying that if we will do these things, then all of the other commandants will take care of themselves. And what is love?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserves.

1Corthians 13: 4-7

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these id love.

1 Corthians 13: 13

I am once again thinking about church life as I have known it, and how as I have grown up in and around it, that I have become kinda acclimated to certain things, like "church clothes," "Hymnals," "amen Borthers" and things such as this. Jesus said that the greatest thing was LOVE. He also said, that if we could get  this straight, then all the other commandments would take care of themselves. That nothing else mattered except love and our willingness to spead it and share it.

None of our religious rituals have ever meant anything to our Lord. He was never inpressed by the Pharisees, nor is He impressed with our rituals. LOVE is what touches His heart, and LOVE is WHAT HE DESIRES FROM US.

To continue the thoughts of my last, and should not have ben, blog, let me say this. Consider the tradition of "church clothes" on a truly poor person. I grew up with the idea of wearing "church clothes" to church. That was alright for me, because I had so called, "church clothes." But what bout those poor souls who truly did not have any nice clothes, what kind of message were we sending them? Did Jesus love them less because of their substandard clothes?

Maybe your saying to yourself, "never!" But have you put yourself in their shoes? Did you ever try to comfort and reachout to a poor fam,ily, feeling compassion towards them, as the Lord would and does?

Our religion is worthless to the Lord. If we are not reaching out to the poor and oppresed, then we are no better than anyone else.

Love is what will change us, not religious rules and regulations. The Lord said all of the law and prophets are summed up in the first two commandmants.

Love. It is Love that will mke the difference between religion and faith.

By the way, I am now listening to K's Choice/Ten, a wonderful band fronted by a lesbian. I hope that one of us is able to become close enough to her to tell her about Jesus without running her off with religion.

Jesus was about love. His entire Earthly life was based on loving people. Maybe we should work on that ourselves.

© Hey, some weird thing is happening. At least it is weird for a 43 yr. old guy who knows very little about computing. Anyway, my computer seems to think that I need some kind of browser upgrade and i don't know what it wants! My credit card number, my phone number, my number of adult teeth which haven't been atacked by geese??

Also, and I really don't like this, I can't display what album I am listening to right now! And if I can, I don't know how. So here it is:

I AM LISTENING TO:  PINK FLOYD/ THE DIVISION BELL

I have always, always, since about 1975, loved Pink Floyd. I remember the first time that i think that i ever heard them. It was at Auga Fria High School in Avondale, Arizona. I was at a drama club meeting with my friend, Joe Pizzini, who was infatuated with, "being a freak." Anyway, we were sitting there with some other drama people (we weren't members of the drama club), and Joe put on the record player, WISH YOU WERE HERE/ PINK FLOYD. It seemed weird to me, but refreshingly different. And so began a lifelong love affair with Pink Floyd, one of the greatest bands of all time, in my opinion.

I said all that to say this: I am, rightnow, listening to, "The Division Bell"/ Pink Floyd. I absolutely love this release like no other! To me this is one of Floyd's best, hands down! Such beautiful, heatfelt music.

I am sitting here just now thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow, or actually today, millions of people will take out all of their very best, to appear their very best.To provide the Lord with

Currently Playing Disintegration By The Cure see related

Good morning, fright fans! Nothing deep or heavy this morning, I don't think. At least I am not sensing anything in that context. I guess we'll see what comes out. I don't really have any kind of agenda or specific point whatsoever tonight/this morning.

I am finding it good to write, reguardless of the subject, or lack thereof. There is one thing that has been on my mind so much today/tonight, and that is all of the friends that I have. I don't really have a good feel yet, but I am thinking that maybe with all that I've said, I may have angered or hurt some of them. I have a friend named Ron. He is very dedicated to what he feels is true. I have always admired that about him. I have always loved him and I don't ever see that changing. It's very special and warming, I may not see him or his wife, Laura, for months, even years, but when I do see them, I feel just as close to them, just as much love as if we'd just walked out of Jesus' apartment together. Anyway, he is a brave soul, speaking the truth in love. He is true to his heart and I love him for it. I hope that I can be like him. But I do not wish to alienate anyone, but I suppose if you speak your true heart, you are bound to make someone mad. Human nature has proven that it easily offendable.

Anyway, I have a friend named Scott. His wife, Felicia, who is one of the most magnetic, wonderful and loving people I have ever met, always makes me feel like an old family friend. Even from the first day I met her when she came here from the Domincian Republic. She is a treasure, as is her husband Scott. He has been with me thru my darkest days, and I will love him like a brother for all of my life. We once went to see Disciple in concert at the Manna Church of Raeford- they kicked as you would expect!

I have another brother named "Q." That's all, the letter Q. I loved him from day one. Our souls were fused together. He is awesome! He is real. No excuses. With Q you get what you paid for. He is what he is, and what he is is an excellent brother and friend and I love him just like he was my own son. And if he was, I'd whip his Puerto Rican behind!

I have someone else who has been , what I have always considered a "kindred spirit" to mine. His name is Marc. His excellent son loves my daughter. Marc has been my absolute brother always. I can tell him anything-ANYTHING,  and he will still love me. We will bang heads a couple times a year, but I think I would die for him and I think he would die for me. No greater love that this.

I know a woman named Sue, she has been a light in my life and a personal hero of mine for quite some time. I love Sue and I am not in the least bit ashamed to say that. She truly loves God and inspires me. I wish, hope and pray for wonderful things for her. She is much more than she probally even realizes.

I also know a guy named James. What a sick name (laugh)! He too, is one of my heros. He is the most selfless, giving person that I think I have ever known. He knows more about my life than almost anyone, and still, he loves me. He is incrediable, and so is his wife, Judy. I love James, and I know that I don't tell him enough. His heart is the size of Montana. If I ever needed anything, he has proven that, "anytime, anywhere" is alive and well in his heart. He touches more hearts than I'm sure he realizes. Maybe he thinks I don't care anymore, but he will always be one of the people that hs spoken into my life, and I will never forget him, or his wife, Judy, for all that they have done, for all of the unselfish love they have shown me. Theirs is a largly thankless job, I suppose. But I want to say, "Thank You" right now. You are both forever in my life and a part of my soul.

Bobby and Sharon are some of the most fun and hilarious people I have ever met. They will be moving on soon, but I hope they will take a part of me with them. I have always loved them. We have laughed so hard together. We saw "Bruce Almighty" together at the  movies. I haver never laughed so hard in a theater. The fact that I was with them made it all the more funny. I will always cherish this friendship.

I am so thankful for all my friends and the more that I write these things, the more I realize how blessed I am to have so many people in my life that I love. Wow! I can believe this! I love you guys, all of you, so much! I plan to continue this line of writing, as I have only scratched the surface. If I have omitted you, forgive me, maybe your name is coming up next. But it's very early in the morning and I could end up writing all day! I do, however, plan on spending some more time writing about people who have touched my life. Thank you for your love, all of you. Weather named or not, you have touched me.

Currently Playing Comalies By Lacuna Coil see related

While I was in the shower, I remembered something that I left out that I wanted to say. This time it's scripture!! Hooray!! But first, I realize that most of what I have been writing will seem, or even feel, harsh to most of you, but it's what is going on inside of me, and besides, if all we want is a plesant word to make us feel good, then we are dellusional in our spirituality, and probably aren't really seeking the truth. I am not trying to be condeming, I am only speaking truthfully concerning issues that are heavy on my mind and heart. Don't be offended, search the Word for yourselves, pray, examine yourself everyday to see if you are living in God's truth. Me too.

So here is the part I left out. This, I feel, is kinda where the church, as a whole, is at right now, for sure where the world thinks we are at right now:

Currently Reading Jesus With Dirty Feet: A Down-To-Earth Look at Christianity for the Curious & Skeptical By Don Everts see related

Alrighty then! You may be wondering why I keep sending you these thoughts of mine since you never asked for them in the first place, and maybe you think it vain of me to presume that you even want to hear anything that I have to say. Well, early on, I felt the same way, but it is amazing how you can find direction, answers that you need, in even the most mundane conversations, if you will just listen. Like I said, early on, around the second or third email that I sent, I was thinking that I needed to stop and just let anyone who was interested, just subscribe to my site and they could read them there. Then one day while having lunch with my dear friend and brother, Chris-I love Chris so much! He is one of the most brilliant and humble people that I have ever known-he says to me that he started writing things and sending them to people because that's the kind of thing we "believers" are supposed to do. You know, exhort one another, teach one another, hang-out with one another, and, yes, correct one another. So I am continuing to send these to you because it is a line of communcation. We are supposed to be doing this. Plus, if I just
"throw it out there" that I have a blog, just in case anyone is interested, practically no one would bother. It's too easy to get distracted, or watch the news, or stare blankly into space with your finger crammed up your nose to the second knuckle. I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed hearing from all of you since I have started writing out my thoughts. And to a degree, I need this and so do you! So I'm not in church right now, so what, has my membership been denied, am I now too unholy for freindship?? I am engaging with anyone who will. I am still alive and my mind is filling up with things that I must share. So here I am, invading your mailbox in an uninvited fashion. What will you do with me? I love when someone or something makes me stop and consider what I really believe. Maybe you don't agree with anything I say. You don't have to, but I hope at least something I may say will cause you to think about your own beliefs in a very real way.

So why am I not in church? Well, and I could not have said this five or six weeks ago, but despite all the hard things that happened that led to my leaving the church, at this point, I actually think that it has been a good thing. Not at all times for sure. But at least for right now. I am standing up on the top rim of the box and I'm looking into it. Seeing things in a way that I never could when I was down inside the box. For whatever reason I ended up here, in the long run, I actually had to go out and get lost in the wilderness in order to find myself and to find out who I really was, and was not. I am not saying that I have arrived anywhere at this point, but for the first time in such a long time, I feel that, however slow it may be, I am beginning to move towards something. I'll let you know what it is when I get there.

Here's the thing about what I was saying last time: we have created so many qualifiers in terms of righteousness, holiness and general church-worthiness, things that we ourselves cannot even live up to.Yes it is true, there are lots of commands and directives to live holy, to go and not sin, many things of this nature. But what did Jesus say about love? He said it was the GREASTEST THING. The greatest, THING.He also said that,

 LOVE COVERS OVER A MULTITUDE OF SINS.

LOVE.

COVERS.

LOTS AND LOTS.....

OF SIN.

That would be sure to get a round of "amens' in any congregation. But how much do we really believe this? How much do our actions say about our beliving this? Love, if we truely walked in it as a church, would fix all the other stuff. It would not put an end to sin, but it would fix US. And that would fix the church.

I absolutely understand why the world has such a bad taste in their mouth concerning us. We have failed miserably, on the whole, in our calling to represent Jesus to the world. We have become too uptight, too defensive, too withdrawn, refused to accept people as they are, while demanding that they accept what we have to say and they way that we live. We have become "Jesus-repellant" to the world.

I belive that the most basic, most talked about element of the Bilble is love. If we all really resolved to seek God's love, to accept His unconditional love, and seek to feel it, understand it, and become immersed in it- HIS love, then we would be healed, and we would then begin attracting people. Everyone wants to be loved and cared for. Practically no one wants to spend Sunday moring sitting stiff as a board, in their pastey grey suit, trying with all their might to do "the church thing" for 90 minutes. Why don't we loosen up some, relax and stop trying to appear holy, and start letting God's love consume us? Don't feel singled out by all of this, I am asking myself all of these things over and over.

Once agin, I fear that religion has replaced spirituality for most of us, so much so that maybe we don't even know what spirituality is. Love can be the only answer. God's love.